The communal wisdom of our generation of women is redefining not only our own, but society’s notions of who we are and what is possible for ourselves, our families and the world as we continue to grow psychologically and spiritually throughout the course of our lives. Growing wise, we treasure the right to be more fully ourselves: to surrender to the greater complexity of what it means to be truly alive. Now when we feel pain, it is our pain. Our tears belong to us and us alone. When we are angry, it is our anger. And so, too, is our joy. Having reclaimed our own lives, we revel in the profoundly hard-won fact that we are, indeed, forces with which others must contend. This experience of life’s meaning is real and unshakable specifically because it does not leave anything out.

This is no small order. And not all of us are experiencing the joy of agelessness—at least, not all the time, nor on every issue. Here’s the crux of the challenge: By the time we’ve reached midlife, we have experienced many things. We learn from the things that happen to us—the good as well as the not-so-good. Sometimes, we learn—as did the women in our study—to break through old messages and beliefs and take control of our own destinies. But sometimes, we take other, less-expansive messages from the lessons of the past and find ourselves turning aspects of our lives into something sensible, realistic, responsible. We can learn to accept our limitations and be glad for what we have.

And if, as a result, you are on fire with the joy of creation…if you can’t wait to jump out of bed in the morning to continue on your journey…if you worry less about the future and more about how to capture the passion in your heart that you are feeling today…then the voices in your mind are your own, indeed—the mature expression of your wisdom made manifest.

But if this is not the case, beware! For if the knowledge you have gained from your life experiences is limiting rather than expanding your horizons, if with all that you’ve done and learned and have to contribute, you are feeling less than you’d always hoped you’d be—rather than more filled up with yourself than ever—you have confused resignation with acceptance, burnout with surrender. You are, in fact, using the notion of maturity and wisdom as an excuse to turn your back on your dreams.

It is surprisingly easy to confuse the voices of the naysayers—the shoulds, oughts and musts of imposed authority you thought you had broken free of years ago—as your own higher self. These messages stay with us, sometimes active, sometimes dormant, waiting for the right combination of circumstances to push the play button. As much work as you’ve done on yourself, if you are anything other than on fire with your life, regardless of your chronological age and circumstances, you have bought their message as your own, simply repackaged as acceptance, surrender and self-protection.

In the Tarot deck, there is a card called “The Fool.” The Fool is pictured as an ageless, carefree youth on a mountain path, poised to take a step forward on her journey—seemingly unaware of the fact that the step will take her right over the edge of a cliff. She has taken all her worldly possessions and put them into a small pack which she carries lightly on her back. Her face is turned towards the sun, basking in the warmth and glow of the moment. At first glance, the Fool appears to be a simpleton. We can’t look at this picture and help but feel superior to the youth, taking the card to be a warning against making foolish mistakes, especially when at our age, we should know better.

In fact, the card represents exactly the opposite. For the Fool captures the essence of true agelessness: the ability to turn your back on the voices of sensibility and reason and take the risk of listening to your own heart. The Fool doesn’t settle for safety or self-protection. She doesn’t want to cope with the problems of aging. The Fool wants more for herself. She wants to take the risk of being who she really is.

Who says it wasn’t sensible for Albert Schweitzer to continue working with lepers somewhere across the globe in the hospital he founded at the age of 90? Who says it was too late for Grandma Moses to start painting at 79? Who says it was foolish for Barbara McClintock to continue advancing her radical, controversial notions about cellular biology throughout her 60s and 70s, finally winning recognition for the significance of her work with a Nobel Prize awarded when she was in her 80s?

Who says that your greatest joy, contributions and success are not yet ahead of you?

To believe these things, you would have to be a fool! And that is exactly the point.

So go ahead: step off the cliff into the unknown—the experience of agelessness that is all on uncharted terrain, not only for you but for our entire generation of women—and have the adventure of your life. Remember always, the future is wide open and full of possibilities. Nobody has ever had our future before—so it’s up to us to envision how creative and fulfilling our lives at midlife and beyond can be. Why not join the revolution, embracing life’s incongruities into a core identity, one that is trustworthy and balanced? It is in this state of wondrous recognition that we gain an experience of ourselves and the world in which we have the unprecedented opportunity to harvest the gifts of life and time, knowing that ageless is not only an attitude—but the path to meaning and joy.

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